今天福音中，最觸動我的話是當時耶穌對會堂長說的話：“不要害怕，只要有信心。”（谷 5：36）
當我回想我的生活時，確實有很多讓我害怕的事情。比如我小時候膽小，不和很多人說話；我害怕公開演講；沒有信仰就怕死；考試時，害怕考不好，不能背 3 年的課程資料； 2011 年洗禮後，怕不能遵守洗禮的諾言，怕找不到好的天主教女朋友結婚；當我辨別聖召時，我同樣有很多恐懼：不結婚，年紀大了，我可以嗎？在校時學的是計算機科學，而且離校已久，現在去攻讀哲學和神學，我可以嗎？如果去神學院讀書，除了學習，我還能同時做好祈禱和其它聖召陶成嗎？甚至現在處身於紐約，我又害怕受到反亞裔的攻擊，走路的時候還不時地會回頭看看，有沒有看起來不正常的陌生人……種種種種，我似乎一直生活在恐懼之中。
然而，今天的福音和上週日的福音（耶穌使風和海平靜）中，耶穌告訴我不要害怕。我所需要的只是對祂充滿信任、真實和忠誠。有人查證，在聖經中，“不要害怕”這句話共出現了 365 次。這意味“害怕”是人的共性，而主耶穌特別在提醒我們要對祂有信心。因此，我不斷告訴自己：雖然日常生活中，每一天都有挑戰，但我無須害怕。記得聖教宗若望保祿二世當選教宗後，從陽台上走出來時說的第一句話就是：“不要害怕”。教宗方濟各在世界青年日的一次演講中也說：“不要害怕，你需要逆流而上！”
因此，我需要以“不要害怕”作為我的座右銘和最喜歡的聖經經文來提醒自己，儘管有許多未知和挑戰，耶穌與我同行。
的確，沒有什麼可害怕的，聖保祿宗徒說：“現在活著的不再是我，而是基督在我裡面活著。” （迦 2:20）的確，在這種疾病或任何挑戰中受苦的不再是我，而是與我一起遭受這種疾病或任何挑戰的基督。此外，當我們將自己奉獻給聖母瑪利亞時，住在我裡面的不再是我，而是聖母瑪利亞。
願主賜給我們更堅定的信心，使我們在生活中的每一天都能越來越信靠祂。
“不要害怕;只要有信心。”
Do not be afraid; just have faith
Br.Francis
Based on my Lectio Divina, the phrase that touched me the most is taken from today’s Gos- pel of Mark 5:36b when Jesus said to the syna- gogue official, “Do not be afraid, just have faith.”
When I reflected on my life, there are indeed many things that I was afraid of. For example, when I was a kid, I was timid and did not talk to many people. I was scared of public speaking; I was afraid of death when I had no faith; when writing the Hong Kong Form 5 level exam, I was terrified of not be- ing able to do well and memorize 3 years’ worth of course materials. After Baptism in 2011, I was afraid of not being able to adhere to the baptis- mal promises and find a good Catholic girlfriend to marry. When I was discerning for the priest- hood, I had many fears, some of them being not getting married for the rest of my life, old age, and whether or not I could still study for Phi- losophy and Theology after long periods of not going to school since I graduated with a Com- puter Science degree back in 2003. When I ar- rive in the seminary, can I still manage all the studies, prayers, and formations all at the same time? Now in NY, I am afraid of the an- ti-Asian attackers, and I occasionally have to keep looking back when I walk to see if any strangers look abnormal. It appears I am constant- ly living in fears throughout the daily ac- tivities in my life.
In today’s Gospel and last Sunday’s Gospel (Jesus calming the wind and sea), God is telling me not to be afraid. All I need is to have faith in Him trustfully, truthfully, and faithfully. It makes me think of the Bible mentioning “Do not be afraid” 365 times. It im- plies that I must remind myself not to be afraid of life’s challenges every single day of the year. In addition, Saint Pope John Paul II said, ‘Do not be afraid,” when he came out from the balcony af- ter being elected as Pope. Pope Francis also said at one of the World Youth Days speech to young people saying, “Do not be afraid, you need to go against the tide!”
Therefore, I need to take “Do not be afraid”as my motto and favorite Bible verse to remind myself throughout the day that Jesus is walking with me despite the many unknowns and challenges
Indeed, there is nothing to be afraid of because Galatians 2:20 says, “It is no longer I live, but Christ who lives in me.” Indeed, it is no longer I suffer in this sickness or any chal- lenges, but Christ who suffers this sickness or any challenges with me. Moreover, it is no longer I live, but Mary who lives in me when we have consecrated our- selves to Mary.
May the Lord grant us a firmer faith so that we can trust Him more and more every day of our lives. “Do not be afraid; just have faith.”